Individual Oral Commentary (IOC): Focus on Robert Frost Poetry.
Open up your poetry booklets to both "Waiting Afield at Dusk" and "Birches" by Robert Frost. Additionally, open a IOC Rubric so that you can make sense of the scores for each of the four criteria. You will be able to hear two students' commentaries on these poems respectively: one is good, the other excellent. Please review my comments and then see if you can decide on some key factors which make the "Birches" commentary even more effective than that of "Waiting Afield at Dusk".
Olivia: Level 5 IOC on "Waiting Afield at Dusk"
Introduction:
You cover a lot of ground with your introduction and connect significant events in Frost's life to "A Boy's Will". By 1913 they had not had 4 children though. Make clearer your comment on Frost's journey into Virginia's Dismal Swamp (if you are to use this reference). Additionally, you should have a clearer idea of when his children/wife died or you undermine your argumentation. We discusses that "A Boy's Will", published in 1913, was a reflection of poems written perhaps in the previous two decades (not three or he would have been 9 years old!)
You transfer to the analysis at the appropriate time. You state the isolation that Frost finds in the field at dusk gives him an appropriate space for reflection, a reflection that is probably based upon the family events that you introduce earlier.
Crit. A: 7
His wife has not yet died (dies in 1934) so you are out with your suggestion that this poem is written towards his dead wife. You must refer to which form of poem it is: this is blank verse as there is no rhyme scheme. You would have shown a very good understanding of the text with well-chosen references to this text had you got this part right. For an excellent response it would have been great had you linked back some of the associations to Frost's "Sound of Sense" essays/letters.
Crit. B: 7
Assonance: "The repetition of identical or similar vowel sounds in neighboring words". We see this at work in Frost's poem with the reference to "full moon" in adjacent lines. The long, slow vowel sounds add to the sense of the enormity of the moon rising and lighting the sky (perhaps light enough to read his book of verse if he chose). I agree with your comment that the setting of the full moon does give a haunting quality to this poem (which you could develop with reference to other aspects such as the bat "pirouetting" and the "abyss of odor" that he senses
I agree with your assumption that the dream of "nighthawks peopling heaven" is a reference to daed family members (which at 1913 would include both his parents and his first son and daughter) and their "unearthly cry" is representative of the pain he feels.
In terms of the poem's structure you could make a comment on the use of iambic pentameter within the poem, as well as the fact there are two distinct stanzas--you could make a more appropriate comment surmising the difference/intention of each between each.
Crit. C: 5
The commentary is very effectively organized; the structure is coherent and effective.
Crit. D: 4
The language is clear and appropriate, with a good degree of accuracy in grammar and sentence construction; register and style are effective and appropriate to the commentary.
Arianne: Level 7 IOC on "Birches" (Well done for keeping going Arianne! Your quality, fluency and confidence grow as you develop into your stride).
Introduction/ Criterion A: 9
Birches by R. Frost. (1874--) literary parents. 1890: first poem; 1890: married and two children. Let me give you a clue: Frost poems will only be taken from "A Boy's Will; "North of Boston" or "Mountain Interval". Therefore you can make more precise biographical details which could be influential to his literary output.
Your presentation of Mountain Interval is excellent: 1916: isolation vs community--philosophical dimensions--returns to his youth.
"The use of seasons/nature are used to explore and go in-depth of framing human pathways"--another good piece of analysis.
Birches are a tree themselves (slim, slender, white trunked): you mistake "birches" for "branches".
Criterion B: 9
Internal and external worlds are presented through this ongoing metaphor.
Frost is an older man, perhaps influenced by WW1 and death of children.
Theme: idea that you can do things differently/ isolation/ self-learning+ self-reliance
Truth/purity can bend the person.
Blank verse: good description--the fact you have to go up each individual branch
Connections to pathless wood: "The Road Not Taken"--fantastic.
Themes: Fate vs. freewill: the tree you choose to climb
I love the fact that you back up your commentary with reference to a Frost essay: I find it difficult to make out your quotation ("pure form/pure sound") and title of said essay. But it is this level of knowledge which separates your commentary out from the others.
Crit. C: 4-- I would have awarded you full marks but you finished your individual commentary at 14mins so we did not have time for the Q&Q!
The commentary is well organized; the structure is mostly coherent.
Crit. D: 5
The language is very clear and entirely appropriate, with a high degree of accuracy in grammar and sentence construction; the register and style are consistently effective and appropriate to the commentary.
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